For news of the City Council’s latest action on tobacco related products and e-cigarettes, visit and click on “Seal Beach OKs permits for smoke shops.”

For details, visit and click on “Seal Beach OKs new smoke shop law.”

The City Council on Monday, Dec. 9, gave staff direction for drafting an ordinance that would regulate tobacco products and electronic cigarettes in Seal Beach.

For details, see “Council reviews e-cigarette regulation options” at the home page.

I generally avoid making predictions. My track record is horrid. Example: I thought the first U.S.-Iraq war would last 10 or 15 years and bankrupt the country. It was over in a flash. I predicted the second U.S.-Iraq war would be over in a flash. It has lasted longer than the Vietnam war did. So much for my predictive powers.

That said, I’m going to predict that the Monday, Dec. 9, Seal Beach City Council meeting will be interesting. Agenda items include:

• E-cigarettes—The staff is requesting council discussion on the e-cigarette issue, with staff favoring conditional use permits for smoking shops.

• Permits to allow pigs. (Yes, friends, the Bubba story is still alive.) The proposed non-domesticated animal permit, while a perfectly sensible option, doesn’t resolve all the issues raised by this matter. On Nov. 21, I wrote that some issues that still need to be resolved after the council closes the book on the Bubba story. I expect pro-Bubba activists to be out in force to make sure their favorite pig is safe.

• Staff wants to apply for a grant to apply a certification for the Seal Beach Local Coastal Program. This is a highly technical subject, but it is related to land use issues near the coastline and is therefore very important to a beach town such as Seal Beach.

• The City Council will hold its annual reorganization.

The Seal Beach City Council recently extended the urgency ordinance banning e-cigarette-only stores, even as liquor, convenience and other stores continue to sell e-cigarettes. One argument advanced by city staff in favor of the ordinance is that the products sold at e-cigarettes specialty stores could be used for illegal purposes.

Let’s put aside the debate about e-cigarettes for now and focus on whether Seal Beach should ban those things that could be used by criminals.

Bicycles can be used by terrorists

During the Anglo-Irish War (1918-1921), the Irish Republican Army’s favorite method of transportation was the bicycle. In fact, bicycling IRA terror cells became known as “flying columns” because they were highly mobile. The bikes required no fuel, were silent, and could be carried over particularly rugged terrain—making it easier for them to escape pursuers.

We must keep bikes out of the hands of terrorists. As a Navy town, Seal Beach is a prime target for a modern flying column.

Seal Beach should pass an urgency ordinance that bans new bike shops from opening in Seal Beach until staff can research how to regulate the sale of these deadly instruments. Law abiding bike riders will still have access to the vehicles at pre-existing bike shops, sporting goods and department stores.

Jump ropes can be used by burglars

A jump rope may be used to scale a fence and facilitate a burglary.

Seal Beach needs an urgency ordinance that bans jump rope shops from opening in town until staff can determine how to regulate jump ropes in order to protect our property.

Human limbs can be used to commit crimes

Human limbs, particularly arms, are quite deadly. One person can strangle another with their arm. Shoplifters use fingers to pick up merchandise they haven’t paid for and steal it. Drug dealers use their hands to place narcotics into the hands of desperate addicts. Drunk drivers use their arms and hands to operate the vehicles they drive.

Clearly, limbs are deadly dangerous appendages.

Clearly, Seal Beach needs to ban hands and arms.

Such an ordinance would pass Constitutional muster. The Second Amendment of the Constitution clearly says we have a “right to keep and bear arms,” but that refers to the right to keep and bear firearms, not the arms you are born with. Just as you have no right to have an ocean view, you have no Constitutional right to keep the arms and legs you were born with.

Seal Beach needs an urgency ordinance that bans people with natural arms from entering the city limits in order to protect the public. People with artificial limbs seldom break the law, so a ban on artificial limbs isn’t needed and would probably conflict with the Americans with Disabilities Act.

It’s common sense: Outlaw the sale of dangerous things by specialty shops, but allow them to be available by other means, and no object will ever be used for a nefarious purpose.

Next week, I’ll revisit the subject of the Seal Beach Tennis Center and share one reader’s thoughts.